So you are probably going to say “it depends on who asks the question”.
I have spoken to many men and many of them have spoken about the fears and insecurities around not being able to maintain an erection. They worry about not pleasing their partners, not seeming to be ‘man enough’, afraid their ability to be intimate might be going downhill as they age.
Many women also list a guy with an ability to get and maintain an erection, as a necessity to an intimate relationship.
So is this the hard truth? Is an erection mandatory in a relationship? (Sorry, bad pun)
At the outset, for sure there are a lot of societal judgments to get around when dealing with a softer cock. Many people don’t know that there are alternatives and workarounds for this very common experience. There are also many reasons for things to change in the erection department.
Without going into all the details that may effect a person’s ability to get or maintain an erection, which can vary from physical, to emotional and psychological, let’s get into what can be done about it!
One solution I have seen work well for some people is to use a cock ring. This is a small ring shaped device that can be put on around the penis and testicles and assist the area to maintain the blood profusion that fills the erectile tissue. It doesn’t usually get in the way and can add an element of ‘fun’ by providing a toy to use. Vibrating rings can provide additional stimulation for both partners.
Another avenue to explore is the whole world of ‘soft cock’ massage. There are some great books and videos out there about this topic, and for most people with penises, the sensations can be just as pleasurable whether they are soft or hard. It can be interesting to experiment what techniques work best with each level of hardness. Variety is the spice of life, and sex!!
The final tip I wanted to share is something called ‘soft penetration’. This can take a bit of effort to get good at, and of course a willing partner helps! Your partner can basically hold the penis and help to insert it into the correct place, by holding it gently between two fingers and helping it inside. You can both enjoy the feeling of being connected intimately this way, and if erection is possible, you may experience a hardening once inside.
If all of that sounds like still too much focus on a sensitive issue, there are many other ways to enjoy intimacy, touch and arousal, both on your own and with a partner. These types of explorations can be facilitated by a Somatic sex therapist, as you explore and learn to be comfortable with your own unique body.
Want to find out more? Book a breakthrough call with me from my website www.pleasureforhealth.com
You never know what’s possible until you try!