Have we outgrown the idea of ‘our other half’?
This month I’ve decided to focus on relationships and the way we frame them.
It seems to me that these days our ideas of marriage, family, and relationships are going through a major crisis shift. Our traditional ways of settling down and raising a family are becoming out of step with our current consciousness.
We used to have very specific gender roles for men and women, that specified how to behave in relationships. These no longer make sense in our society which is more about the gender spectrum than the binary model. Finding our own polarities and attractions, within ourselves and then also in relationships is a constantly shifting journey.
We are at that in between stage, the ground feels shaky, and we don’t know how to move forward with a new vision. Calling in the creative aspect of ourselves is helpful and can open up our imagination to new possibilities.
We help create a more peaceful future when we take responsibility for what is and stop blaming others. A transformative part of this process for both men and women is to reaffirm femaleness, and the values and archetypes associated with it, in men and women. Another part is to value and affirm the differing gifts of different cultures and races, rather than simply assuming - or striving to prove - the superiority of one’s own.
One example would be to acknowledge that women often are more relationship oriented and not so warrior-like. If we want to create peace in the world, it would seem prudent to engage the help and advice of women, or the feminine aspect, instead of relying on the traditionally warring male psyche.
One question to ask yourself might be, ‘What of your family ethnic, racial, political and/or religious heritage to you honour and want to continue in your own life and pass along to the next generation?’
Here on the East coast of Canada, I have noticed the inherent valuing of tradition and family. This is not a bad thing, but it is limited. On the West Coast, I noticed more emphasis on innovation and independence, good pioneering qualities. This too has both gifts and limitations.
Just recently, people have become aware that maybe there is a way to not only ‘marry’ the two halves, but to ‘become’ the two. Embody all ways, become androgynous, so to speak.
When we take our own journeys and realize our potential as individuals and cultures, and when we humbly open to learn from each other, we will be able to solve the great problems of our times. We are all beginning to experience metamorphosis - death and rebirth- so that we can really love and value one another. This begins with holding on to the best of what was generated in the previous age, and allowing cross-fertilization of these many traditions and wisdoms so that their synergy will produce something even greater than what came before.
The great trick to experiencing wholeness is to let go of the illusion that any of us is either superior or inferior and to fully allow ourselves to be who we are - our gender, our culture, our individual selves - without that preventing us from from learning and incorporating wisdom from others.
This is exactly why the modality of Somatic Sex Education has emerged. A way to help us learn to value and embody our own truth so that we can honour and include other’s truths also.
Even one session can be a transformative experience.
If you are intrigued and want to know more, please reach out and book a free consult on the link below, or hit reply to this blog post!
With hope for the future,