“Just be yourself”
We hear this all the time. It seems to be a favourite saying to tell your kids, or your best friends, or your partner. It seems like good advice. We all know its important to just be ourselves. So why does it seem to be necessary to remind each other of this all the time?
And what does “being yourself” really mean anyway?
Young children seem to have this down pat. Before the age of around 4 or 5, kids don’t have too much trouble being authentic. They know what they want, and they say NO! When they don’t like something.
If you ask a group of 3-year-old boys “who is the strongest boy here?” All of them will raise their hands. They innately know and own their own strength and uniqueness.
Fast forward a couple of years and ask the same question to a group of 7-year-olds. Now, they all point to the ‘strong’ kid over there. They have taken in the story that only one of them is the strongest, one the fastest, one the smartest. Everything becomes relative and we compare ourselves to others.
Now we have the dilemma of wanting to fit in and be liked. This often seems to oppose the idea of ‘just being ourselves’. We need each other, we need to feel part of the community, and if this means we have to subjugate parts of ourselves to do this, then often we take this as a necessary sacrifice.
So that great advice, “Just go and be yourself, you’ll be great” fall on deaf ears. We are threatened by the idea of appearing too independent or different. We don’t want to isolate ourselves from our peers too much.
Often, by the time we reach adulthood, we have forgotten who we are anyway! “Just be yourself” has become a meaningless platitude. We don’t even know where to start.
And thus begins the lifelong journey of rediscovering who we really are.
What do you expect of life?
What does life expect of you?
It might seem odd to say that sex can bring us home to ourselves, but sex really can help us find our way back to the WHO we really are.
Discovering our desires, our pleasures, our unique sexuality can bring us back in touch with the wonder and joy of that childlike ‘knowing’ of ourselves.
Finding out who we are as a soul incarnated in a physical body requires us to become intimately involved with our self. Touching those places deep inside ourselves that we tucked away for safe-keeping in a world where fitting in seemed more important. How well do you know yourself?
How you answer this question will determine how the rest of your life plays out.
If you find your way home and learn once again to ‘just be yourself’, old age can become a time of pleasure, reflection, and enjoyment. A life well lived.
I love to reflect on a saying of Norman Cousins
“The tragedy of life is not death but what we let die inside of us while we live.”
Dying with our ‘self’ undiscovered seems like the ultimate waste. All of us, I believe, are born with a purpose, with gifts to share, with a uniqueness that only we can bring to this world.
One of the greatest gifts of Somatic Sex Education and working with me can be the re-discovery of your Self. Reach out, book a discovery session, don’t hide anymore.
“Just be yourself”