This week, I wanted to share with you a real AHA moment I had.
I have been reading and studying about Gay men, and how they come out of the closet. The feelings, the process, and how to support them in that. But as usual, I was struck most by one statement.
“Often men step out of one closet only to step right into another one”
Holy smokes! That is so true... for EVERYONE, not just Gay men. We all do that, work so hard to get out of some box we find ourselves in, and in the fight to get out we step right into another box.
For Gay men, in particular, the point was that they come out of the closet, own their own sexuality, and then.... step right into the ‘Gay man’ box. You know the one, the
- I dress in the latest styles
- I enjoy decorating my living space with the latest styles
- I am flamboyantly showy
- I cook and clean with flair
- I am sexy and I know it
- I have many guys checking me out everywhere I go and I love that
This is as much of a box as the original closet where he hid his true self from the world. Now he has signed onto a whole new persona, that likely is still not his true authentic self.
I recognize the pattern with other people. Let’s take women for instance.
Maybe we are tired of being second class citizens and making less money, having less opportunity for jobs, doing more than our share of the housework. So we fight for equality, we join the women’s march, we wear the pink pussy hat, and before we even realize it we have jumped into the closet of the feminine activist.
Now I’m not saying that every closet is bad, or a poor choice, as long as we are aware of the choices we are making. If you truly believe in your heart of hearts in everything that a particular group stands for, then maybe that is your tribe where your authentic self can shine. But if you only stand shoulder to shoulder with people on a few issues, and you have other opinions on some things, are you still being yourself?
Are you hiding parts of yourself to ‘fit in’?
If you feel a part of you that is suppressed in order to be a part of the group, then that is worth noting. Maybe that is the exact part you need to bring out in order to bring your light to the world.
Maybe it's important to ask ourselves what closets we have put ourselves in willingly. We may have a whole trail of closets we have spent time in over the years!
Maybe its time to ask ourselves if we need to stay in the closed, ANY closet? Is it really in our highest interest to keep even a part of our light behind the door.
Becoming confident in our authenticity is now of those things we may strive for our whole life. AND it would be worth it.
Let me know what you think
What closets have you gotten out of? Or into?