Grounding through bondage

19 july 2018-2.png

I wanted to share with all of you an aHa moment I had at the latest Somatic Sex Education course I was on. We were invited to participate in a communal but individual erotic practice every day. This in itself is already ‘out there’ for many people, but was not my biggest realization of the week.

It was about the third day or so, and I was feeling a little floaty and ungrounded that morning. This is not an unusual feeling for me, I often ‘tune out’ or ‘daydream’ as a mild form of dissociation. Staying present and in the moment can be challenging for me, when so many other memories, feelings, and thoughts are prevalent in my head.

In any case, this particular morning I made tea and was feeling a little less than enthused about Orgasmic yoga practice. I just wanted to curl up in a corner and let my mind wander. I am not against this ‘chilling out’ activity, but I became interested to know if I could bring myself out of that place enough to participate fully in our communal practice.

Luckily one of our teachers had brought some electrical tape with her, and she happened to come over and offer me a roll, with the invitation to explore with it. No doubt she had correctly interpreted my reticence to involve myself fully that day as a block - our teachers are like that!

I had noticed in my periphery the day before, her use of the tape on a previous day to bind her breasts and arms, and I have to say I was intrigued. I took the tape and felt a surge of interest in my body. Setting my tea down, I set up a mat outside on the deck, and along with the tape, brought a wooden spoon to my practice space also.

As I began, I wound the tape around my body, the restriction, and tightness, felt really good to push against. I could feel the boundary of the surface of my skin tingle and come alive. I was no longer floating around in a nebulous space, I was right here, in my body, right now!

Standing up, I continued wrapping the tape around my arms and my upper thighs. Moving in time to the music I could feel the binding of the tape, restricting my movement, but giving me the feeling of being held also.

I picked up the wooden spoon, tapping it fairly lightly all over my body, exploring what the impact felt like on different areas. My skin felt awake, tingling with not quite pleasant, but with a sensation of acute aliveness. My eyes felt brighter, I could focus more, and I felt completely grounded.

This was a revelatory experience for me. To realize that I had another way to ground myself in my body and be present quickly and easily was amazing. This also helps me understand that my common dissociative state is a detachment of my mind from my body. I knew this in an abstract sense before, but now I KNOW it in my body as well. This embodied experience and knowing is a keystone of Somatic Sex education. It works!

If you are interested in how finding a more embodied state might work for you. Or any of the other issues I work with such as trauma recovery, sexual issues, relationship coaching and recovery from the effects of emotional or physical abuse, reach out to book a free 30 minute consult with me.

Check out the links on my website www.pleasureforhealth.com

Thanks and keep reading!

Ailsa