The Seductive Draw Of ‘Stability’

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Much of our cultural and societal values and teachings, promote the idea that stability creates happiness. If you have a stable family, a stable job, stable emotions, stable income, stable relationships, you will be able to sit back and relax. Your worries will be gone, and life will be wonderful.

On some level, this may be true. However, the kind of deep joy, peace and connection that many people are craving these days cannot be found through external stability alone.

Somehow, we must find and cultivate an inner stability, a congruence, within our own self.

This congruency is found when we connect our head and our heart, and I would even add the body as well. When we are congruent in this way, our thoughts easily come into form, and we find co-creation happens easily and quickly.

As long as we are in denial in our mind, and making excuses in our heart, then the only stability our personal Will can find is in some kind of addiction.

Addiction, as I am defining it here, is the case where your head says one thing, your heart another, and your body is the battle ground between the two. Your personal Will then, has no choice, but to try and find stability in some kind of addictive behaviour. This allows you to make the same choice over and over again, creating a sense of stability through your behaviour.

This cycle, has the outcome of slowing down your growth process so your life doesn’t change, therefore providing some form of stability.

Addictions come in many forms, and we all have them, I noticed recently that I felt the pull of my own addictions and fear of change. As I contemplate stepping more fully into this work, I must leave behind the stability of the past. This is always a process of taking responsibility and finding my own integrity.

I must find the connection and congruence between my ideas (mind) and my passion (heart). This will inevitably lead to change in my external life, and that is where we must be willing to let go of the idea of external stability and that level of ‘comfort’.

With any life choice, or any desire to grow as a person, we must face again and again this addiction to our current reality. It is a letting go process, that allows our desires to manifest in this process of congruent co-creation of our life.

Relationships can be a place of growth, or a place of stasis and addiction. Many relationships are based on the subconscious pact that both partners will maintain the same reality, and not change.

Relationships however, are possibly meant to grow. They are meant to be a place where we can be supported to mature, to change, to become more fully ourselves.  I believe this is what many people are wanting, deep down. I believe that as we see our relationships as a cauldron for self growth, that we will see our own addictive and stability seeking behaviours more clearly.

In the end, there is nothing as joyful as being congruent with ourselves. Our heart, mind and body all in alignment creates a sense of empowerment. A place where our ideas and passions can come together. Our life becomes a powerful vehicle for love and peace, true happiness and stability within.

How do we start to create a congruent Self? Often the keys are in the physical body. We ‘feel’ when things are stuck, our body manifests this in different ways. Pain, dysfunction, disease, stiffness, inflexibility.

Working with the body can help to bring awareness to where we block our mind- heart connections. Somatic bodywork and coaching is a way forward, out of our addictions, out of our fears and out of depression (which is often the outcome of this disconnection).

Interested to find out more?

Book a free 30 minute consult and let’s discuss your experiences and desires.

I look forward to speaking with you soon.

With pleasure,